✦ Handcrafted Empathy Since 2026 ✦

Some Days Are
Just Rougher

The world's first luxury sympathy object for when words aren't enough — but sandpaper is.

Send Sympathy → Explore Grits
"Life gave me lemons and then took them back"◆ Over 12,000 rough days acknowledged◆ "Better than a sympathy card. Way worse than anything else."◆ As featured in absolutely no reputable publications◆ Free shipping on orders over $40 of emotional damage◆ "This really rubbed me the right way" — Anonymous◆ "Life gave me lemons and then took them back"◆ Over 12,000 rough days acknowledged◆ "Better than a sympathy card. Way worse than anything else."◆ As featured in absolutely no reputable publications◆ Free shipping on orders over $40 of emotional damage◆ "This really rubbed me the right way" — Anonymous◆
The Collection

The Grit Spectrum™

Every bad day has a texture. We've mapped them to the universal language of industrial abrasives so you can express your sympathy with scientific precision.

400
Fine Grit
Minor Inconvenience
For the days that are annoying but ultimately survivable. The emotional equivalent of a paper cut.
→ Spilled coffee
→ Parking ticket
→ Reply-all mishap
$14.99 + sympathy
220
Medium Grit
Certified Bad Day
When multiple things go wrong and you start wondering what you did to deserve this. You didn't. It's just Tuesday.
→ Bad meeting
→ Car broke down
→ Flight cancelled
$19.99 + solidarity
80
Coarse Grit
Absolute Disaster
The kind of day where you contemplate moving to a cabin in the woods. Everything that could go wrong, did. Twice.
→ Lost a client
→ Got dumped
→ Tax audit
$24.99 + a hug
36
Industrial Grit
Legendary Catastrophe
When the universe has personally chosen you as its nemesis. Reserved for the days that become stories you tell for decades.
→ House flooded
→ Identity stolen
→ All of the above
$34.99 + prayers
The Process

Delivering Discomfort,
With Comfort

Our four-step empathy pipeline ensures maximum comedic relief with minimum effort on your part.

01
🎚️
Assess the Damage
Use our proprietary Grit Slider™ to calibrate the exact roughness of their day on a scientifically questionable scale.
02
✍️
Craft Your Message
Choose from our curated selection of condolences, or write something personal. Either way, it's going on sandpaper.
03
📦
We Ship It
Arrives in our signature matte black box with a wax seal. Or choose "chaotic" packaging — a crumpled grocery bag with a bow.
04
😂
They Open It
Confusion, followed by recognition, followed by the kind of laugh that makes the bad day worth it. That's the product.
Send Sympathy

Configure Your
Empathy Device

Personalize the perfect textured condolence for someone who needs it.

Build Yours

400 Fine 220 Medium 80 Coarse 36 Industrial
220 Grit
Certified Bad Day
220 Grit
Certified Bad Day
Wall of Grit

Words From the
Freshly Sanded

★★★★★

My coworker sent me one after I accidentally deleted the production database. I've never laughed and cried at the same time before.

— Marcus T.
Senior Developer, 80 Grit Recipient
★★★★★

Got dumped on Valentine's Day. My best friend sent a 36 Grit Industrial with the note "this relationship had no finish." I'm keeping it forever.

— Jess W.
Graphic Designer, 36 Grit Survivor
★★★★☆

I send these to my team after hard sprints. HR has questions but morale has never been higher. Removing one star because it actually is quite rough.

— David K.
Engineering Manager, Bulk Buyer
Frequently Abraded Questions

Everything You
Need to Know

Is this a real dildo? +
It's a Textured Personal Empathy Device™. What you do with it after receiving it is between you and your insurance provider.
Can I return it? +
Like a rough day, all sales are final. We believe in the irreversibility of both sandpaper and sympathy.
Is it safe to... use? +
Absolutely not. This is a display piece and conversation starter. Our legal team was very clear about this. Very, very clear.
Can I send it to my boss? +
You can. The anonymous option exists for exactly this reason. We've never been subpoenaed and we'd like to keep it that way.
Do you offer corporate bulk orders? +
Yes! Our "Morale Restoration Kit" includes 10 units across all grit levels, branded sympathy cards, and a spreadsheet template for tracking team suffering.
What's it actually made of? +
Medical-grade silicone wrapped in genuine adhesive-backed sandpaper. Each unit is hand-wrapped by our Grit Artisans in Portland. Obviously.

Someone You Know
Had a Rough Day

You could send them a text. Or you could send them something they'll never forget. The choice is yours, but only one of those comes wrapped in sandpaper.

Send One Now →